Rihanna Will Play The Female Lead In Peter Berg's Battleship

At first we were all skeptical about a Battleship movie, because something based on a board game that simple couldn't possibly have a future, and then we all stepped back a bit because Peter Berg was directing, and we should like him, right? Now prepare to shift your expectations all over again: Variety is reporting that Rihanna-- yes, "Umbrella" Rihanna-- has signed on to play the film's female lead.

She'll be acting opposite Taylor Kitsch and Alexander Skarsgard, who play two naval officer brothers wrapped up in a battleship fight against invading aliens. Rihanna's role isn't specified, but by all accounts this is a war movie, so as the female lead she'll either be stomping around in uniform next to the boys or playing the wife/girlfriend type left at home, meaning her role will be much, much smaller than the two male leads'. That might not be a bad option for a pop star with zero acting credits, but then again, Berg would be smart to cash in on her immense popularity by offering as much screen time as possible.

I'm officially signing on to give Rihanna the benefit of the doubt, if only because it's highly unlikely her character will be the emotional focus of the film, and awesome alien explosions would more than make up for a wooden line or two. She'll be very pretty to look at either way, and sadly, it seems safe to assume that will be all that matters.